Personal Bill of Rights

• I have a right to all those good times that I longed for all these years and didn’t get.
• I have a right to joy in this life, right here, right now – not just a momentary rush of euphoria but something more substantive.
• I have a right to relax and have fun in a nonalcoholic and nondestructive way.
• I have a right to actively pursue people, places, and situations that will help me in achieving a good life.
• I have a right to say no whenever I feel something is not safe or I am not ready.
• I have a right to not participate in either the active or passive “crazy-making” behavior of my parents, siblings, or others.
• I have a right to take calculated risks and experiment with new strategies.
• I have a right to change my tune, my strategy, me and my funny equations.
• I have a right to “mess up;” to make mistakes; to “blow it;” to disappoint myself; and to fall short of mark.
• I have a right to leave the company of people who deliberately or inadvertently put me down, try to lay a guilt trip on me, manipulate me, or humiliate me, including my alcoholic parent, my nonalcoholic parent, or any other member of my family.
• I have a right to put an end to conversations with people with whom I feel put down or humiliated.
• I have a right to all my feelings.
• I have a right to trust my feelings, my judgment, my hunches, and my intuition.
• I have a right to develop myself as a whole person emotionally, spiritually, mentally, physically, and psychologically.
• I have a right to express all my feelings in a nondestructive way and at a safe time and place.
• I have a right to as much time as I need to experiment with this new information and these new ideas and to initiate changes in my life.
• I have a right to a mentally healthy, sane way of existence, though it may deviate in part, or in whole, my parents’ prescribed philosophy of life.
• I have a right to carve out a place in this world.
• I have a right to follow any of the above rights, to live my life the way I want to, and not wait until my alcoholic parents gets well, seeks help, or admits there is a problem.
• I have a right to be treated with respect.
• I have a right to say no and not feel guilty.
• I have a right to experience and express my feelings.
• I have a right to take time for myself.
• I have a right to change my mind.
• I have a right to ask for what I want.
• I have a right to ask for information.
• I  have a right to do less than I am humanly capable of.
• I have a right to feel good about myself.
• I have a right to act only in ways that promote my dignity and self-respect as long as others are not hurt in the process.
• I have a right to make a request of another person as long as I realize the other person has a right to say no.
• I have a right to take risks and to experiment with new strategies.
• I have a right to set limits.

Which of these rights resonate with you, today?